so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
