Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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