I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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