i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
