Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
