garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize