I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
