My room smells like vodka and shame
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
