i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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