First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
