Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
