insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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