I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My feet surprised me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize