drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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