Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
