I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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