Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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