its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
