It's a beautiful day for a hangover
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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