Say something about gay babies.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
