We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
