rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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