We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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