Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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