My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
