so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
