people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize