Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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