I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
