I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
