My first STD was from a foam party
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
