You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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