I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
