It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
