Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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