There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
MIDGETS
????
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
