I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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