Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
