no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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