my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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