it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize