what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
