How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
