Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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