Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
