You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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