At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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