Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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