Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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