Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
