my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize