yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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