He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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