He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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