sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
