Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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