i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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