32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
