Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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