my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
