have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
