I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
