It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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