i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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